


unexpected and surprised

by Ro2a1yn



Category: Half-Life, Original Work
Genre: Amputation, No gore but there's a hand chop, THIS IS SELF-INDULGENT, which means this is only for ME and my friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ro2a1yn/pseuds/Ro2a1yn
Summary: This is a thingy I wrote for a self-indulgent au I made for my friends, depicting my sona, or me, inserted into HLVRAI! It's, great, and called The Evanescent Paracosm. You'll see more of this in the future, probably.
Kudos: 3





	unexpected and surprised

Doc didn't expect it.

They weren't paying attention, right after that stunt involving moths and skulls, it almost drew them into a mental breakdown. Just, being overloaded with the sheer _ridiculousness_ and the insanity surrounding the entire moment. It took them a second or two to gather them self together. Sniffling while taking deep breaths before sucking it up. This was just another Science Team thing where there were a chain of events that drove Doc closer to madness. Refreshing their mind afterward for the next day(?)/night(?) before they moved on. That was probably a vulnerability to take advantage of. Because at that time, they were tired physically, emotionally, and mentally. All they could think of was pulling through and getting some rest. Each step of their green HEV suit clunking heavily on the floors of Black Mesa. An exhausted look in their eyes as they went forward with the determination to finally stop and lay down. Occasionally rubbing the tiredness out of their eyes or taking off their glasses to pinch the bridge of their noise.

They had to stay strong for the team, a repeating mantra in their head during these kinds of moments. For the gang, for your friends, and to get the _hell_ out of Black Mesa. Surface access plus the trip to the Lambda labs being cut short were fantastic news here! Yet, hearing it, their guard was lowered enough so they never expected it. When they came into the hall out of the place where the black ops people ambushed them.  
Doc would've simply passed by the Med station, not sparing a passing glance- but then 84 mentioned it just for them. Coming to a screeching stop, turning around to look at said room. Squinting suspiciously. That was odd- but what was also off the scientist's personality change god knows long ago. This happened to be the new normal when it came to them for some reason. It rubbed them the wrong way to have them acting nice to Doc. The station would be useful, and the first they said to everyone was if they were injured, passing through the usual bullshit debates and getting straight to the point. Came with the tolerance for irrelevant things and insanity. Even though Bibble cut in, mentioning TV and blu-ray. Wasn't all that useful, but the couch sounded nice.

Something to sit down and rest on that wasn't cold hard floor? Completely hooked- well, somewhat, anything from the security guard was taken with a grain of salt. He called Doc an idiot for many occasions and often called them friend as well. Contradictory in his words, but that was just Bibbles mocking them, he hasn't done anything that bad anyway. No one else actually seemed injured though. A good thing for whatever future madness they'll pull wouldn't hurt them more. With a shrug of their shoulders, and a need to re-fill the morphine in the suit, they head towards the station. Careless as they walked into the room without suspicion while the others followed inside.

  
Only for the door to slam shut behind them and the lights cut out. Instinctively, they turned around to look for the others, a frustrated look on their face for whatever just happened. Talking out loud to know who's done this with a flat tone. Waiting for a reply impatiently and mentioning wanting rest- then they heard two pairs of footsteps close by.  
They froze, blood in their veins turning into ice because- none of those sounded like the science team's movement. And the only people Doc knows with such heavy footsteps were the military. Who were in the same room as them...with the door shut behind them. They didn't think that they were just after themself, yelling for the others to run away desperately until the first hit came upon them. Then came 84's voice yelling at them to get Doc. They sounded triumphant and confident, that it was coming to Doc eventually. Their world came to a halt from those words. Every part of their body turned into ice before their reality reset again. Another hit came onto their face to knock them to the ground. They groaned in pain and tried to get up. Only for a boot to slam hard into their abdomen. Now coughing and wheezing, curling into themself to mitigate the damage. But they couldn't do anything about the fists and feet beating them. Hitting in every available surface, giving their face bruises and suit cracks. Unable to make a proper remark or yell for help. Those military men were only after Doc, and apparently _only_ for them, because of 84.

They never expected the scientist to do something as insane as this, the soldiers who's been shooting at the entire team hired to do it. Confusion and betrayal cutting through the pain- before they heard Bibble speak as well. Ah, if only their expression was visible in the light, twisted with ugly rage yet the heartbreaking look of betrayal. Bruises on their face and cracked lens in glasses. Blood and tears streaked across their skin. It was a sight no one else saw until they were punched once more. Pain exploding all over their body as they whimpered in pain. Somehow managing to croak out _'help me'_ for a brief moment. They managed to say with what limited energy they had left. And the response they received dropped their hopes harder than falling off a ledge. A hiccup ripped out of their throat soon cut off harshly by a kick to the throat. The hit was hard enough to stop any attempts from talking or yelling. Wheezing through sobs as they felt their arm being lifted up. Every part of Doc's body in pain, hazily wondering what they were doing now-

_Then they cut off their arm._

Doc's grunts and yells were nothing compared to their screaming. Loud, grating, and in an extreme amount of pain. They weren't gentle, their goal was to cause them the most pain and suffering as possible. A knife cutting through muscle, bone, and tissue. Unable to move or do anything with all their effort directed towards screaming. And nothing but screaming. They couldn't say anything. Anguish was all they felt in that moment. Doc couldn't even manage a rasping cry when it finally ended. The knife finally going through and partly separated the arm from their body. The gutteral screams died down, now they breathed heavily and croaked. Their faint, weak sobs heard in the dark as their head buzzed and their hearing cut in and out. Only parts of the team's word registered in their memory, but they paid the most attention to Bibble and 84. The two likely planned this together to get them, but why? That was their last thought before everything cut to the peaceful embrace of unconsciousness.

\----------

Hazy.

Doc's head felt dizzy and full of cotton, eyes opened and closed few times. Blurry figures in the corner of their eyes were saying something- but their words wouldn't register. There was a throbbing sensation in their right arm that they didn't pay attention to. Squinting in the harsh lights as they heard something about killing them and their body staying unmentioned. It bothered them to hear that, but their eyes fell shut with darkness washing over them.

The next time they woke up, it was inside of the trash compactor- the wrong side, fortunately. And the extreme agony in their right. Dazed, they slowly began to sit up off-balanced. Their jaw aching from gritted teeth and tongue tasting like sandpaper. Voice was shot to hell and extremely raspy, they found out. Trying to say something before it died out from the stinging pain coming from their throat. Their left hand slowly rose to touch the fresh injury that they hazy memories of- until they lifted their right arm and saw the stump.

Shock.  
Several seconds passed, a minute, two minutes, four, five, and six. Speechless by what they saw- they tried to flex a finger, but, but it wasn't there. A keening sob building in their throat while their vision blurred with overwhelming tears. On their knees as everything came flooding back to them. All the cracks on the HEV suits and the throbbing bruises on their body coming to attention. Gasping through the pain- one of the noises they were capable of with busted vocal cords. Tears streaming down their face as the clutched the stump of their arm. Shaking and trembling as they hunched over to cry. This- this wasn't okay, Bibble and 84- they _betrayed_ them. They let Doc beaten up by the military and didn't stop them from _cutting off their right arm_. And they- _they felt so goddamn-_

Sad.

Doc couldn't bring their self to feel anger when it never did anything. Instead, despair and hurt were all they felt. Coughing and gasping in the empty space inside of the trash compactor. Staying there for god knows how long. With time passing by at a snail's pace. Pain was all they felt and their sense of time lost.  
Eventually, they had to stop crying, because it was wasteful. They were running out of a lot of blood- they- they had to conserve energy, they thought bitterly. Finally pushing their self up with their one hand, leaning against the wall and looking at their surroundings. From what they remember, those men, they somehow dumped them into the wrong part of the compactor, thank god. It's a small beam of light in their miserable situation, but it would've been nice to end their pain. Staying unconscious in the middle of those walls and getting crushed without being aware- NO.  
No.  
They aren't going down that train of thought now when they needed to get out. Staring at the nearby ladder with gritting teeth and moved forward. Their stump held close to their chest as they got ready to climb.

\----------

Doc _somehow_ got out of the trash compactor, alone and still alive. They were barely functional as they walked outside while their arm's throbbing made them stumble time to time. It was dead silent around them, made them nervous, and there's no science team to fill that void. Or their voices. Head shot to hell that the only encouragements they gave their self were inside of their mind. They've survived explosions, gunshots, and so much fucking more. They could- they could survive losing an arm, right? They thought, trudging along the rocky walls with blurry eyes.

  
Just their luck that they happen to come across a lonesome headcrab in front of them. Normally, they were easy peasy and simple to take out. But seeing them now, Doc's filled with fear. Pupils shaking and breathing faster seeing the creature. If they were attacked- they wouldn't survive this, too weak and in pain too much to swing their arm. And they didn't even have weapons! Nor could they shoot them either! They aren't ambidextrous and that was the biggest disadvantage right now. Having a stare off with the headcrab for several minutes.

The smartest option was to run straight past it- now darting away as fast as possible and ditching the alien. Panting as they ran towards the tank, swearing to their self in their head seeing the ladder on its side. Taking a deep breath and gritting their teeth as they went up to the top. They managed to reach the top and get onto the platform, the thing going down. A hand resting on their knees as they gasped for air- running had never been this difficult before. Which shouldn't be the case, considering how much they've ran throughout Black Mesa. Either the busted throat or the cracked suit must've been the problem. Dedicating their self to a small break before crouching and going through the pipe. God, in this state, they couldn't do anything. Against a head crab all they did was run away and if an alien or some soldier found them. They would be DEAD. Doc couldn't do this alone.

They thought they knew despair when the Resonance Cascade first started, but this? This takes the goddamn cake, alone, beaten to hell and back, missing an arm, and looking utterly pathetic? Worst moment of their life. Very close to rock bottom. As they reached the end of the pipe they crawled through, coming across a room filled with radioactive green sludge, they wondered where the hell they were- until they saw a figure in the corner of their eye. It was Shade! In their memories, it was only them they tried to do something, but couldn't. And during the entire time through Black Mesa they didn't too much trouble. That made them the most helpful and most trustworthy out of the entire team. From Doc's vantage point, they seemed to be looking for something and they tried to say something. Only a pathetic wheeze coming out- forgetting about their busted throat. It was enough though to catch their attention. Shade now looking above with wide eyes to see the sorry state the suit-wearing scientist was in.

Bruises all over their face, many cracks along the suit from the immense beating, the missing arm, and most of all. Their expression was absolutely heartbreaking because they were so glad to see someone they could trust. A low keening torn out of their throat as they mouthed Shade's name. Jumping down from the pipe to see them. Not a good idea, considering the small amount of vertigo was enough to make them stumble and fall. But a shadow quickly caught Doc before they could face plant onto the ground. Eyes wide as they stared up at their worried face- before tears welled up once more and cried once more. They probably looked like a crybaby with those puffy eyes and wet cheeks. Did it matter? They didn't have to wander through Black Mesa alone, and instead they had someone they could trust.

Soon, they could feel warm arms wrapping around them in a safe embrace. Arms going limp as they attempted to wrap their arm around the other and just. Let their self cry, the worst part of it was over, and right now Doc took this moment to take advantage of touch and comfort. Who knew how long this moment would last.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be working on the bubby part next, since we skipped a coomer and jumped straight to our own rendition of the tube.


End file.
